return my video game
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
