I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
