Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
