So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
