Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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