she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
