Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
