I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
