He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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