Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
