do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
