I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
