I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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