just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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