I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
