The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
