It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
