You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
