No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
