living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
