i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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