So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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