I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
