he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
