hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i love accidental penises.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
