I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you will always have a special place in my vag
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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