My brain says no but my pants say off.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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