I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize