Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
