No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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