Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
