no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
