Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
