Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
