distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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