I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
