mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
