I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
