Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
