I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize