Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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