That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
