Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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