what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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