mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
