some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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