My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up under a house in Key West
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