would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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