You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
