I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
