Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
