I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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