He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
