Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
