Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
