TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
