I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
