Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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