And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
