theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
